Yes, shit happens. It just seems to happen to me a whole lot more than I’d like to think is my fair share. Why do I think that? Here is a small sampling of reasons:
Last week I had a migraine. A really wretched, no amount of pain killers were working kind of migraine. I managed to get the baby to sleep despite the urge to vomit/bash my head in with a hammer and was trying to sleep off said migraine when I was woken by Paul at about 2 am. It seems Neve had gotten up at some point and was playing with the dog leash. When Paul came in from working for the night he found Neve asleep in our bed, finger stuck firmly in the leash clasp, leash firmly attached to our bed frame. He tried getting her finger slippery. Her finger swelled. We tried ice. She screamed. Out came the dremmel tool. SHe screamed more. Took about 2 hours of screaming and me holding her down to get the damn thing off of her. And my migraine? I still had it in the morning. Later that day a had most of an iced venti coffee land in my lap due to a faulty top on the cup.
Neve got bit on the face by a brown recluse spider. Aren’t they supposed to be really rare and rarely seen around here?
Last weekend the dog flipped out over something (I can’t remember what) and bumped hard into the middle drawer in the coffee table. I happened to have my bare foot resting onthat very drawer. It shut on my toe. A few days later, that toe nail fell off. Ouch.
Some jerk backed into my car in the grocery store parking lot this summer and did major damage. He took off. When we took the plate number to the police, we discovered the plates had been stolen: their rightful owner had been in jail at the time of the incident. Chances of finding the actual perpetrator: next to zero.
I told Emily and Neve they could paint some pictures last night as long as they were careful not to make a mess. The result? Paint dripped all down the stairs, all in the hallway on my white carpeting, ALL over the bathroom (even the shower curtain!) and all over Neve.
We had to cut a big hole in our wall upstairs 2 weeks ago because of a nasty rotten smell we traced to the wall in that area. What did we find? 3 dead mice.
Both Emily AND Neve got pneumonia at the same time one year, despite the fact that doctors told us that was next to impossible. Pneumonia is not contagious, but the nasty bug that caused both of my girls to develop pneumonia sure was. Emily was in the hospital for almost 3 weeks and had to have 2 tubes surgically implanted into her chest to drain out the fluid.
I got pregnant even though we were using protection. (ok, so that has turned out to be a good thing and Oona is a total delight, but still. At the time I was pretty miffed).
Emily once set my car on fire while I was driving down route 53 in Fluvanna. (she shorted a wire in the reading light behind her)
Speaking of fire, the bus I was driving went up in flames at midnight one night on Beta Bridge in Cville. I got all the passengers off ok and fortunately diesel isn’t as combustible as gasoline. Turns out the repair shop put in the wrong fuel filter earlier that day and it was just waiting for me to get behind the wheel before it became a problem.
I got chicken pox twice – and the second time I was an adult. It sucked.
I got 4 flat tires in the first year I owned my current car.
My entire day was wasted on Tuesday because the very common antibiotic our doctor prescribed for Neve was not in stock at any of the pharmacies in Cville. (fortunately they had it at the lake).
I met my old boss for lunch in June and the waiter dropped a huge glass full of frozen mango smoothie on my head. The next day I met another friend at a different restaurant and we waited for our food for an hour – the waitress apologized and admitted she had completely forgotten we were there.
There’s an overload of poop at my house on any given day (I’ve blogged about this already)
Embarq cannot get our phone service correct. For no good reason we never know if we’ll be able to dial a long distance number, and despite months of trying to get it fixed, we also cannot receive calls from certain people. Anytime we call, no one at Embarq can figure out if there’s a problem or why. And don’t you know it’s always when I really need to call Paul that suddenly our long distance doesn’t work. Murphys’s Law really is Law, not probability.
I had several large nasty patches of poison ivy on me this summer, even though I hardly set foot outside and didn’t go near the woods.
And as if to drive home the point, as I write this, the dog is laying under my feet passing some raunchy horrendous gas and I think I may need to vomit.