When we last heard from the front lines, the report was as follows:
January 9, 2008
The lady invasion continues in full force. Efforts to drive back their numbers have failed. Their flight and wall – -scaling capabilities have prevented our top agents on the job, Sushi and Milo, from capturing many of them. Late word this morning is that 51 of them were seen in the master bathroom, with another two dozen lady corpses residing unashamedly in the bathtub. When asked if plans were in place for a full scale counter-attack Sushi simply stared out the window.
Meanwhile the number of “Dust and Fur Bunny” operatives continues to climb unabated. Unconfirmed reports of fur buffaloes are circulating as well.
In the bedrooms efforts have been made to scale the great laundry mountains, but it is fast becoming a possibility that these mountains may in fact be un – scalable.
The production of dirty dishes is at an all – time high and resources to combat this foe are limited at best. Morale in the trenches continues to be poor as the dirt and clutter attack in wave after wave of destruction and talk of unconditional surrender is underway.
“We must think of the children” a war weary onlooker was heard to say. “They need their parents with them, and not pre-occupied with this ugly war”.
Yet others continue to be pro – war, despite the odds. “We are doing this so that the younger generation may have a safe and clean environment in which to grow and play.”
Our leader, when asked for comment, had only this to say:
“We probably won’t overcome, and need to be prepared to learn to live with the enemy.”
It has been discovered that the dust buffaloes are breeding a secret weapon: spiders!!!! Two of the eight legged offenders were discovered dangerously close to yarn stash “A” in the dining room. When the battle had ended the weary victor was heard to say that new resources would have to be approved in the ongoing war.
“We were close to admitting defeat but the presence of these illegals is a clear violation of our provisional treaty. The cease fire is off.”
No word yet on what, if any, new resources will be approved, but half a bottle of wine was emptied prior to the frontal assault on the arachnids. Experts indicate that protecting the borders from further insectoid threat will be an ongoing job with no clear end in sight. “Constant vigilance is the only hope.”