The Opposite of S.A.D.

A lot of people I know suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. These people, (plus most “sane” people) usually think I am out of my freakin’ gourd when I tell them I suffer from the opposite of SAD. Usually sufferers of SAD get the blues or even become depressed during the winter months (I believe it’s due to the lack of sunlight during the shorter days…….something to that effect anyway). Me? I get the blues when there’s too much sun in the winter. That’s right, you read that correctly. I am an oddball, I admit it. I am the one rooting for a ton of snow to fall and then disappointed when it fails to materialize. I’ve noticed that since moving to Virginia I feel more and more hostile toward mother nature every year. I put up with the oppressive, melt – me heat in the summer (and even into the fall……very few frosty and crisp autumn days here) in the hopes that this year winter won’t disappoint and will instead deliver me a veritable overflow of snow days. Sadly, in the eleven years I have lived here, there’s only been a handful of good, memorable snowfalls here (natives of Va. might disagree…but I’m from upstate New York, so it’s all relative). The last good storm we had was 2 years ago, and it was mediocre at best. I thought it would be enough for a good snowman, though, so Emily and Neve and I set out to the front lawn to roll one up, and we made what will forever be known as the “Speckled” snowman. You see, as a kid there was always enough snow that you could roll up a huge snow dude and you still couldn’t see the ground for all the white stuff. Not so with Mr. Speckled. As we rolled the snow, we exposed the ground, and all of the deer poop that was covering our front lawn was now embedded in the body. We even temporarily entertained the idea of using it to make his face and buttons. Anyway it was one ugly, mottled brownish snowman. He looked like he had brown chicken pox.

The irony is not lost on me that I finally have plenty of property to make my own private cross country ski trails (and even a nice streamy – type valley out back that could be dug out for a skate pond) but I no longer live in the necessary climate for it. I am also 100% guaranteed not to have a real winter due to the fact that we own a fully functional behemoth snow blower. I have not yet found a way to sabotage it without being discovered.

So, once again I pray for a real winter (or at least a few good snowfalls), and I keep myself from being too unhappy by knitting all manner of cold weather items, thus virtually ensuring that no winter will ever come.

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