Ok so I need to start keeping a running list of all the poop I clean up all the time. And I mean literal poop, not figurative.
For those that know me, you know that I have to manage two small kids and two dogs (one’s a 2 month old puppy) and a full time job, basically by myself. So what i describe here is basically typical of what I deal with as a pseudo-single parent.
Last Thursday I got home from work at 6:30 as usual after picking up the girls from daycare (they were filthy) and went to let the dogs out. Pippa had pooped in her crate. Fun. So I carefully took her outside with Zelda following and put them in their outdoor pen. I wish I could leave them in their nice big pen while I am at work, but some days it is too hot, and also, they have learned to escape it. So I gathered the necessary cleaning supplies (all the while with two girls screaming at each other and fighting over toys and begging me for snacks) and head upstairs to clean up the poop. That’s when i notice that Pippa is no longer in the pen. Neither is Zelda. So I go outside and Pippa is on the porch. Zelda is gone. I put Pippa in the house and after 20 minutes of calling and yelling and searching, I get Zelda to emerge from the woods (through the posion ivy patch) and into the house.
Back to the poop. It takes me about half an hour to clean it all up. As I am tying the garbage bag Ihear Emily yell from downstaris that Pippa had just pooped in the living room. Great.
So, I sigh loudly and go downstairs to clean up THAT poop.
After it’s all clean, I feel nasty and gross. So I go upstairs and clean myself up a bit, and while I am at it I figure I’ll clean up the girls’ bathroom so they can take a bath after dinner (if I ever get to dinner!).
So I spend another half hour cleaning their bathroom. With Neve still potty training it gets pretty grungy.
Ten minutes later I have the bath water running and I call them to come take a bath (not waiting for dinner anymore…). Neve is the first in. She peels off her panties and says “I need have go potty”. Ok, I tell her, the potty’s right there – go for it. Well, she doesn’t make it. Instead she has diarrhea all over the newly cleaned bathroom floor. I clenaed it up. I stuck themin the bath. I fed them, sent them to bed, and then I had a big stiff drink.