It’s Late And I’m Feeling A Bit Punchy

Poor Oona just wants to be held. She’s not fully awake but not asleep……probably won’t be for awhile. And it got me thinking how grateful I am to not be working a regular job. I have no one here to help out so if I were up all night I’d be SOL and very tired at work. Yay for being a totally broke SAHM!!!!

And that got me thinking about my last job and the people I worked with and how some of them I really miss seeing on a daily basis. There’s the occasional run – in at Target or what have you, but it’s not the same. Of course, I also had some unpleasant times as well, and that soured the whole darn experience, unfortunately. It’s sad, really. I left because I was pregnant with Oona and my salary barely covered daycare and after care for 2; there’s no way I’d make ends meet with 3. Still, had things been working better I might have found a way to stay. But I had two bosses, and though one was a phenomenal woman I will always look up to, one was, well…..not. So bad that I still have nightmares because my brain has clearly not come to terms with all the times I couldn’t properly defend myself to false accusations and repeated requests for things I had done like 45 times already! You can’t scream It’s attached in 3 emails to you and in several copies in your inbox – open your damn eyes! to someone in a superior position. You can’t call them out on unprofessional behavior when it’s non quantifiable and hard to prove. I don’t know why she didn’t like me, and I asked around to many other co-workers if I was really that unprofessional and bad at my job. Had anyone of them agreed with that woman, I’d have done my level best to improve. But I had no complaints. In fact my team was always very complimentary. But, that is way work is sometimes. There are some people you just can’t work with if you don’ mesh well. Like my spouse. We live together, that’s enough. We’d kill each other if we worked together, married or not!!!!

I guess what I am thinking here is that yes, it can be frustrating to be broke and be low on art supplies and bogged down with kids. But even so it’s late here and I am not worried because tomorrow I can get my older girls to the bus stop in my jammies. I can even nap with Oona after lunch! And I can find enough here to keep me inspired and energized and ready to create and design whatever I want. That’s what keeps me happy and sane and glad to be where I am. Plus I am an introvert, which as Crazy Aunt Pearl correctly points out, means that I get my energy and happiness from time spent in solitude (no, I’m not anti-social!!! I just need my alone time is all!!!)

And the yarn. oooooooo the yarn! I went a bit overboard buying yarn last year and I still have enough for several projects I haven’t yet started, nevermind everything that is OTN right now. All I need is a fabric budget to put to work what’s in my head and I’ll be all set!!!!

As a side note, it would also be great if Oona didn’t insist on biting me with her 7 very sharp teeth at every turn. Here I am thinking she’s nursing herself into a peaceful sleep when CHOMP!!!!

Crap

Yup.  Crap.

It’s 6:30 pm and Oona’s napping.  Which means she’ll be up ’till lord knows when.

And then there’s the actual crap I’ve been cleaning out of Emily’s room.  It’s from her hamster and it’s everywhere.  Also under her bed I found an old blackened banana, half a Heath Bar, many hundred old jellybeans, some ABC gum, several used and wadded up tissues, and 8 tons of other random trash.  It’s a damn good thing the cats like it under there so much or we’d no doubt have RATS in there.  Sheesh.

I’m not really in a bad mood, but since this post seems to be a whine fest let me add that I hate my unreliable satellite system and I need fabric.

But two things made me happy today.  The first is the morning glories that reseeded themselves from last year (I didn’t plant any this year, because even though they are my favorites, Paul doesn’t like the way they vine around the porch).  They grew up despite Paul’s aggressive weed whacking and are blooming on the side porch.

The second is a promise of fall just around the corner in the form of some beautiful little pumpkins in my garden.  I wonder how big they’ll get!