Dear Universe,
Ok. Let’s get it all out in the open. I watch My Name is Earl. I know how karma works. So tell me. Really? Have I been that bad? You had to give my kid head lice? Now? With everything else you’re throwing at me you have to send me that as well? Oh yeah and thanks for the mother of all migraines you hit me with today. That was a nice touch.
Incidentally……….now that the writers’ strike is over, when will My Name is Earl be back?????
When my little Mac was just starting to make sentences and absorb the world around her she had her own interpretations of what we’d say that would crack me up. Some I still use (“joe-mamas instead of pajamas, anyone?), some I’ve forgotten, some I only think of once in awhile. For example, “a big one”.
Whenever she saw a spider, she’d say, “A big one! I saw a big one!” It didn’t matter if it was huge or so teeny tiny as to be barely visible. She didn’t know “spider”, she only knew “a big one”. Probably because I only ever talked about them if they were big. When Paul got home from work I didn’t bore him with the details of every spider I saw during the day because, quite frankly, we see so many around here that you think I’d be over my fear by now. So spider conversations around here usually go something like Holy Mary Mother of God I saw A BIG ONE in the shower today!!!!!
Anyway, there is a point to this. It seems that since we’re all too busy and stressed out around here to play pranks on each other the Universe did it for us a few times these last few days. I speak of the photo above. It ain’t real. That’s a Halloween ring that had fallen under the buffet that we moved to make room for the chest freezer. So that was Gotcha! number 1. Hey, at quick glance out of the corner of your eye, tell me that wouldn’t freak you out while moving your dusty old furniture.
Then it got kicked almost under the fridge while I was vacuuming aforementioned dusty spot and sat there until Neve screamed bloody murder on her way out to the garage. Gotcha! number 2. Then Maddie went to check out the source of the scream, and Gotcha! number 3.
So it’s hanging around, giving us all a mild start when it surfaces in various places around the house. Neve and I have been calling it Steve. As in, “Oh, it’s ok, it’s just Steve”.
But the weather’s getting warm. Summer’s coming. And I fear that one of these days it won’t be Steve.
I am cheating on the Emo Socks. I said I wouldn’t, but now that they’re going to Emily instead of Maddie I’ve lost some steam. So I’ve been working on cute little baby socks instead for a cute little man I know. They’re a Debbie Bliss pattern and they’re in my favorite “chocolate & blue” color combo.
I also have realized I’ve been doing nothing but socks for awhile so I think I may cheat some more and work on the kitty pi bed. And I still have many a sweater OTN……….. which leads me to another thought. I haven’t gotten a lot done since the baby came. She wants to be held (by me only, to boot) ALL the time. She has some down time in her new Jumperoo, but I have to be less than 3 feet away at all times or it’s all over.
Since she’s so very sweet and I love her so very much, this is ok. However, I do think it is monumentally unfair that performing all childcare and household tasks with a baby in your arms doesn’t make you automatically skinny. I mean, really. Like this morning when it’s cold and raining and the do has to go out to pee but I can’t hold the baby, the leash AND an umbrella, so I tried to stand on the porch while the dog does her business, but she won’t leave the porch and o out in the rain unless I do (because she, like my children, is a princess. See here for proof:
)
SO she sat at the door and whined all morning, but wouldn’t go. All because I don’t have 3 arms. But, I’ll enjoy it anyway, because Oona’ll be grown all too soon and then I will miss these days and be tempted to have another (Talk me out of it, please!!!).
Meanwhile we had a very busy weekend. Emily went to her brownie scout father daughter dance and had a blast.
AND, I got a new toy:
Yeah, baby. A chest freezer! A new place to store my yarn!! (just kidding. But seriously, I know the Yarn Harlot does it….)
It seems I’ve been gifted with the Ick on this first day of spring (Thank you, rotten kids). I’ve got the achiness all over, the sore throat, the congestion, the headache, the cough. Otherwise you know I’d be out dancing naked under the moon to celebrate the equinox and all. Y’all know I’m like that.
Ha! Just wondering if you were paying attention. And yes, I did just say y’all. Yankee or not, I find it really enhances your language to throw in a good y’all every so often.
So I feel like crud and I plan to rest up for the festivities this weekend (egg hunt party Saturday with the ‘rents, sugared up kids Sunday once the Bunny has come). But I did do one thin today. One brave, crazy, not-quite-perfect thing.
I cut Neve’s hair. Couldn’t stand it anymore. She was cool with it, so I grabbed the scissors, took a deep breath, and chopped it. It’ll need some touching up to even it out a bit, but I think she looks cute with it like this. She’s got that wavy kind of hair that works well with a bob. It also makes it hard to cut it evenly. Plus, you know, I suck at it.
Here’s a little Irish Oona for you.
It’s also my 12th anniversary today. I think I’m gonna crack open a Guinness and put my feet up.
Dear Today Show Producers:
I’d like to thank you for your lovely show. It keeps me entertained in the mornings after my kid has gone off to school and that 3rd cup of coffee is struggling to take effect. I enjoy that you try to impart important life lessons and tips for better living without coming off too preachy. I am also grateful for the friendly banter between your hosts to lighten up the mood between the inevitably sad, tense, or disturbing breaking news stories. I’d also like to throw in a thank you, on behalf of the female fan base out there, for hiring Matt Lauer.
But I’d also like to say, after watching the show this morning, that I am getting some seriously mixed messages over here. For example, I put off showering an extra hour because I was waiting for your tips to get rid of my “spare tire”. I’ve recently had my third child, and you know, that area could use some major help. And, the segment delivered the goods. I felt motivated to go make a bowl of oatmeal instead of cramming down the half eaten rice krispie treat my kid left behind. I learned better workout moves to tone my obliques that I may actually be able to accomplish while cooing at my 6 month old so she doesn’t scream through my entire workout. Bravo for encouraging us to be healthier! So why is it, please tell me, that what stuck with me most was the segment featuring yummy homemade apple pies? And why, I would also like to know, did I spend my day, instead of finishing the sock I am working on for my sister (so close!):
Why did I instead spend my time making THIS:
A yummy homemade apple pie? Loaded with sugar and butter? Which I will surely eat for breakfast tomorrow morning while you tell me (probably) how to cut back on the sweets and lose the weight fast???????
Why did I think that at age 31 I would no longer have to deal with pimples? Where did I first hear that acne was the exclusive domain of teenagers? Because I have to say, some days my skin is just as bad as it was when I was 15. And I know they call it “adult acne”, but it didn’t magically appear after I reached adulthood. The acne I developed as a teen just never went away. Oh sure, it got a lot better, and the mystical concoction of potions and unguents I apply to my misbehaved skin does a pretty darn good job of keeping breakouts at bay and covering the occasional whitehead. But there are days. Frustrating days. Days like today, when there’s a monstrous cyst – like abomination on my face that I can actually feel pulsing, like it has its own personality or something. And it’s one of those that will probably hang around for awhile, so I may as well make friends with it.
I think I’ll call it Bob.
A nice glass of pinot noir and a box of Whoppers candies is surprisingly good together.
I’m just sayin’s all.
You know what this means?
This means I am woefully behind in all of my garden prep work. There’s a literal metric ton of weeding to, plus some transplanting and plant feeding……..I better get a move on! It’s just so weird that this little gem is hanging out with some of its buddies in my front yard while the rest of the country is being overcome by the white stuff. Ah March. ‘Twas (and is) blizzard season back home in the ol’ North Country.
But I won’t be out in the garden today. We’re getting rained on, so I’ll be digging in and trying to finish up a project or two.
And the big news around here? Oona got a tooth!!!!!!!!!
Chocolove brand dark chocolate bar with dried cherries, Ancho chili peppers, and Chipotle peppers. Just back the truck right up to my mouth now, please.
Merry Magpie Farm 