Category Archives: Kids

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Signs of Spring

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You know what this means?

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This means I am woefully behind in all of my garden prep work.  There’s a literal metric ton of weeding to, plus some transplanting and plant feeding……..I better get a move on!  It’s just so weird that this little gem is hanging out with some of its buddies in my front yard while the rest of the country is being overcome by the white stuff.  Ah March.  ‘Twas (and is) blizzard season back home in the ol’ North Country.

But I won’t be out in the garden today.  We’re getting rained on, so I’ll be digging in and trying to finish up a project or two.

And the big news around here?  Oona got a tooth!!!!!!!!!

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No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed!

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What a weekend!

Friday night I fell asleep on the couch trying to stay up and knit (I’ve started the heel on Maddie’s emo sock!) but sadly it seems once the household has calmed down my eyes just do not want to stay open.  I managed to make it up the stairs around midnight when Paul woke me up.  I’m hoping that daylight savings next week will help me accomplish more knitting in the evenings.  I’ve got so many projects lined up, and the wool keeps calling me to plan more.

Saturday morning the baby had me up pretty early so I was feeling rather groggy……and unprepared when the dog peed on the floor in the playroom.   Fun!!!  So we ended up getting a late start to the day, which was spent getting groceries (more fun).

Emily had a friend spend the night – the daughter of my friend, actually.  And it was going really well for awhile……until Neve tried jumping on them and missed, smacking her face (again with the face!!!) on the headboard of Emily’s bed.  There was an insane amount of blood from the wound next to her left eye, and after washing some of it away, I realized it would require a trip to the ER.   Fortunately they used that skin glue instead of sutures, so we don’t have to go back to have them removed.  But it looks just awful, and she has a really wretched looking black eye.  Apparently she never learned anything from singing that monkey song all the time.  And we felt badly enough about it that later on when we heard her tell the other girls “Uh-oh, I peed myself.  Don’t tell mama and papa!”  we decided not to say anything.

Today’s been relatively low key.  But, we discovered a bunch of relatively fresh, half smoked cigarettes right by our front steps.  And no one here smokes.  No one has been to visit us that has smoked here.  Our house is set back far from the road……so you’d have to purposely cross onto our property to leave them there.  And we don’t always succeed, but we make a real effort to clean up any trash that blows onto our property.  It’s weird.  And scary, because I am here alone most of the time.  Who’s been hanging out on my front porch that shouldn’t be (and helloooooo dog.  why aren’t you doing that barking thing at them you normally do so well?) ????  We’ll clean them up and keep an eye out for any other trash that may surface in our yard…..and I’ll keep my fingers crossed that none does.

Here’s hoping Monday proves boring and uneventful!

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While You Were Sleeping

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Take a good long look at this face.

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This, you see, is the face of evil. Don’t let her adorableness fool you. She is quite diabolical. I cleaned the playroom last night. Then I went to bed. When I woke up, I sent Emily off to school and grabbed the Dyson to finish the cleaning job. Imagine my surprise when I found black and red tempera paint all over the white carpet. It was mostly dry, with some especially thick spots still sporting some offensive stickiness. And next to it, crumpled up on the floor, the dress Neve was wearing at bedtime, also covered in paint. But you know what? As much as the implication of her wandering around in the night unsupervised disturbed me, I didn’t have time to wallow in my horror, since I was expecting company. So I made sure there were no more wet areas and got to vacuuming. I also figured I’d put on a Disney dvd for the kids, but when I went to insert the disc into the player, I couldn’t find it. All I could think was, why had Paul moved the vcr and dvd player? And where???? Well……I found them in a broken heap on the floor behind the tv. I guess in an effort to try and reach them, the mini terror must have pushed them off the top of the tv altogether (never mind that she has been told time and again to ask for help rather than attempt it herself).

Now skip ahead to this evening. (Yes we made it through the day without further disheartening discoveries or instances of evil). Emily, having finished both her homework and her dinner headed up to her room to grab her pink purse that she keeps her little toys in. I heard her screaming Neve’s name before she began stomping down the stairs demanding to know where her purse was. But cute little Neve, who was snuggling me sweetly on the couch, professed her innocence up and down. And since she’d had company much of the day (and I’d locked Emily’s door to boot) I believed her. Emily, however, wasn’t buying it. So I went to look for it. Guess what? A cursory glance of Neve’s closet yielded not only Emily’s purse, but some of my makeup as well!!!  And what was little Neve’s defense?

“I said I didn’t do it  today.”

So let me close out with the one thing keeping me sane , grounded, and from pulling my hair out.  The picture of cuteness.

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Retch Inducing

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On the one hand it’s nice when you can more or less trust your kid to make her own sandwich for lunch.  On the other, it’s kinda gross when that sandwich consists of 1 slice of American cheese on wheat bread slathered with mayo and ketchup.  And it’s also hard to endure the lip smacking and the “MMMM you have got to try this!!!!!”

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Ambience!

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My kids had a blast this past weekend playing with their grandparents, visiting from up north. My Hungarian Goulash was successful on Saturday and I got rewarded for my efforts. You see, on Sunday morning my living room looked like this:

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which resulted in a far better outcome than I could have possibly imagined from my poorly built home. By Sunday evening I was relaxing by this:

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Doesn’t it look great? Who’d a thunk a gas fireplace could look so real? And it put out a nice heat and didn’t smell like burning propane. How psyched am I????

AND I had some knitting time this weekend so I worked for a bit on what I’ve been referring to as “Maddie’s Emo Socks”. The yarn is to die for, from Blue Moon Fiber Arts (Socks That Rock in colorway Hardrock); it’s soft and black and grey and pink and fuschia. It doesn’t look like much, but it’s been knitting up pretty quickly and I’ve been having a blast with it. I’m using the basic sock recipe from Stephanie Pearl McPhee’s Knitting Rules.

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Hopefully I’ll have a bit of time this week to work on them. (No, we are NOT mentioning the eleventy other projects I have begun and need to work on).

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Valentine’s Day Has Passed and My Blonde is Showing

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Valentine’s Day around these parts means Chinese food. Every February 14th for almost 12 years now there’s been Chinese food. Usually take – out, always yummy. Emily used this year as an opportunity to try crab and lobster, in the form of seafood soup. She loved it so much she asked if she could eat it for dinner every night from now on.

The next night was not as yummy or healthy. I was expecting the in – laws for dinner so I thawed a huge amount of stew beef to make a Hungarian Goulash. I had planned on serving it with a nice salad and Italian bread. Then it became apparent that they weren’t going to arrive in time for dinner, and I had nothing else at the ready. So it was off to McDonald’s so I could save myself the effort to cook and clean up the kitchen. The older girls wanted chicken nuggets……so when I pulled up to the drive thru I ordered chicken nuggets. Or at least I’d swear I did. But Emily heard “cheeseburger”, and so did the nice lady at the window. And I can’t say truthfully that this is the first time this has happened to me. My blonde has been showing a lot lately. I swear I’ve said or heard something but everyone else around me says otherwise. Either it’s a well organized plot to convince me I am senile, or I truly am losing it.

So anyway I handed my two girls their happy meals and as I am driving away it becomes clear that these meals are actually not happy because they are the wrong damn thing. I apologize and tell them I’ll somehow make it up to them. Emily assures me it’s ok; she’ll enjoy her fries and chocolate milk and have a snack of some sort when we get home. This sounded reasonable. I agreed to her terms. Then I asked Neve if that sounded ok to her. No. It was most definitely not ok.

“I want you to turn around right now and get me my chicken nuggets”.

That’s my Neve.

No, I did not turn around. I don’t let her boss me around. Much.

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Courage Makes Us Look Bad

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It’s another crappy and miserable winter day. It’s been sleeting and raining for about the last 24 hours and it just makes everything feel all cold and damp. If I had a real fireplace I’d build a nice warm fire. Instead, I have a useless fake fireplace. Okay, so it’s actually a gas fireplace but my feeling about these is that they’re pretty much useless. They give off less heat, don’t crackle pleasantly, and well, I don’t like that sooty, burning propane smell. So we never hooked it up. Sigh. It’s the one thing I would change in this house if I had the money.

But I don’t want to linger on that today. I’ve been thinking about the way families have their own languages that only they truly understand. Special words or phrases that have a meaning no outsider would get. The ability to communicate with my family comes down to one thing: tv. I know, rots their brains, whatever. But we keep each other greatly amused with our shared favorite lines and expressions. The flavor du jour is a toss up between “Stupid dog! You made me look bad!” and “No it is gum I smellllllllllll”. The former is from Courage The Cowardly Dog, and the latter is Chowder. We’ve been watching a lot of both those shows lately. I even overheard Neve singing Chowder’s I’m Not Your Boyfriend” song the other day. But the best is “Radda Radda”. It’s hard to explain if you’ve never seen it, but it’s the only thing Chowder’s Schnitzel can say. And it can dispel the tension in any room in a matter of seconds. Kids fighting? “Radda radda radda radda!” and suddenly it’s all giggles.

I’m not sure of this will become a permanent fixture in our language or not. It’s got a lot of competition. There’s Simpsons (It tastes like burning; This both sucks AND blows; Me so hungee; I’m old, the only thing I don’t hate is Matlock; I’m cold and there are wolves after me………………….the list goes on and on), there’s Futurama (This isn’t Yemeni, it’s Sulawesi; Tell the robot devil I’m coming; I never thought I’d die this way, but I always kind of hoped) there’s Spongebob (You’re spendin’ all me hard earned cash!) and so on.

There’s always room for new stuff, which is the best part. It’s all about us having our common interests and adding to our family “glue”. We genuinely have fun talking to each other this way, and we can share any number of memories together with the turn of a phrase which, more than likely doesn’t have anything to do with that particular memory. I wonder if they’ll remember when they’re adults why we started saying “Tiny ugly germs!” when they don’t wash their hands, or who started the Party in my tummy. But really, it won’t matter.

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Windy Weekend

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Truly my existence is all about the germs. And the trips to the doctor. And the yucky medicines. Emily has strep throat. Hopefully, hopefully I won’t get it. Usually I get it if I talk to someone on the phone who has it. All you have to do is say strep, and I’ll get it. But she gets to go back to school tomorrow, which is good because she has to give a report on Susan B. Anthony. I spent Saturday making her costume for it.

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It’s a good thing I managed to finish it all Saturday (thanks to Maddie for all the help!) because we were without power Sunday (which also means no water since we have a well). And I am feeling a bit of scratchiness in my throat now which I am trying to will away.

And on a secondary note, congrats to my sis and her buddy for their 2nd place win in the school’s talent show. Awesome job!

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Recovery Mode

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The weather has been a bit warmer around here and that has put me in panic mode knitting – wise.  So much wool to finish working up before summer!  Summer is for knitting lighter items like socks, and I still have sweaters to do.  I haven’t even cast on little Mac’s sweater.  That will probably not be worn until next year.  Good thing I got enough wool to knit up a size (always thinking ahead……….ha!)  Actually this summer I may tough it out and keep working on the thicker stuff so it will actually be done in time for cold weather.  Imagine that!

Speaking of little Mac, she recovered nicely from having her ear tube removed, though she took a nap of her own free will yesterday, which told us that she had not completely gotten back to normal.  She would never ever willingly take a nap.  But despite it all she’s having a good week.  Her papa stayed home after her procedure and she’s gotten lots of cuddles.  It’s been good for me, too – I’ve had house work help!!!   AND, even better, he’s been taking Emily to the bus stop in the morning.  This means that my coffee consumption is down from “slightly less than a lethal dose” to a mere “total addict junkie”.    It also helped having him around when Pippa, at around 10:30 last night, decided to leave a big stinky pee puddle on the white carpet at the top of the stairs.  The baby had fallen asleep during Lost (a not to be missed show around these parts) and we were in the process of turning off all the lights and heading up.  Just as we were preparing to open the front door to let her out one last time for the night she bounded up the stairs, headed for her doggie bed in our room.  Except that she made that nasty detour on her way and caused Paul to have to break out the louder – than – bombs steam cleaner to take care of it.   Oh well.  Just more proof that if my house were to be 100% clean at any time the universe would surely implode.   But life goes on, and hopefully so will the knitting.  I’ve barely made any progress on the socks I’ve cast on using Austerman Step wool, which I am loving so far, except that using size 1 needles means it is taking FOREVER.  sushi-chew.jpg

Did I also mention that Sushi likes to chew on my smaller sized wooden needles?

PS: Don’t judge my wrinkly tablecloth – it got dried in the dryer by parties who shall remain nameless and no longer fits my ginormous table.  And as a side note, who knew that buying a new tablecloth in that size (70 x 108) would be so difficult/frustrating/stressful/expensive????????  Apparently I am too picky when choosing such a huge piece of fabric that takes up a large amount of space in the very center of my house.  

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Yes, Those Are My Hateful Children

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So the day started off rather nicely.  (Oooooo, you just know something bad is coming now, don’t you????)

Emily got off to school in a good mood and looking more neat than sloppy for once.  Oona took a nice morning nap, allowing me to properly groom myself.  Little Mac (that’s Neve – we call her McEnroe due to her disagreeable nature) didn’t fight me too much about her clothes or her hair.  And I got where I was going on time.  I met up with some friends and their kids and we got to have normal grown – up type conversation.  We had coffee.  We experienced no more than the usual wild disobedient child behavior.  All in all, not too shabby.

I got  the little ones home and we had some food, Mac played on the Wii, and I cleaned up.  Some moderate stress occurred when the otolaryngologist called to say that our app’t to have Mac’s ear tubes removed was for 7 am tomorrow.  At  the hospital, in town.  7 am.  A good half hour from here, half an hour before Emily’s bus comes.  I did the math:  in order to get there on time I’d have to leave the house by 6:15 (so we could swing over to pick up my mother who offered to help) which meant I’d be probably keeping Emily with me since who’s gonna take my kid that early, and that also meant in order to get myself plus all 3 kids ready to go I’d need to be up at….yikes.  But, problem averted; little Mac’s papa decided to come home from Charlotte to take his little princess to her “procedure”.

Yay!

Got Emily off the bus.  She wants to play with her friends from down the street.  I decided sure, why not?  I talked to their mom, kids come to my place, everyone has a blast.  Except Mac is showing more and more signs of surliness and “talk-back-itude”.  Being optimistic I think that a trip to the video store after their friends leave will probably stave off any  impending melt-downs.  I was way off.

When V. came to get her two very adorable, friendly, respectful children, Emily went into threat mode, and Mac went into Def Con 1.  I’m talking to V., holding the baby who is hungry and fussy and trying like all get out to get my boob out, I’m trying to keep Pippa the dog from jumping all over everyone, the kids are looking for their shoes and squealing, Emily’s saying over and over she’ll only let go of them and let them leave if I let her get a new Goosebumps dvd, and Mac is, well, shrieking.  She wants to go home with them and I can’t tell her what to do.  She doesn’t want a new dvd, she wants a new place to live (namely, at her friends’ house).  While all this is going on, V.’s poor husband is waiting in the car.  The kids had ridden their bikes over to our house, and he planned to drive alongside them back home.

When we finally got his kids out the front door through the commotion, Mac took off after them like a shot, with Emily bringing up the rear.  Off up the driveway, into the dark.  And there I am helpless on the porch holding a squirming Oona. V. and her husband can’t leave because their kids can’t go because my kids are trying to follow them.  And they won’t answer me.  When Emily finally decides she may as well give up (or, when V. says they can play this weekend) she tries grabbing Mac, to haul her back to the house.  It sounds like a Texas style throw down out there with all the yelling and arms flailing and the “get off me!” and “Ow you’re hurting me!”

I’m about mortified now.  I like these people a lot, but I don’t know them very well.  And even their 5 year old is looking at my kids like they’re cracked – out mental patients.   Fortunately, V. is great with kids.  She picked up Mac (still shrieking, btw) and hauled her back inside for me while Emily chanted Goosebumps dvd! over and over.  With an apology and a “See?  I told you my kids are evil!”  I bid them goodnight.  I’m sure at this moment they are ritually purifying their girls to keep the evil from catching.

But wait, it gets worse.

I told my kids as soon as the door was closed that there was no way on earth they were getting a movie after that display, and they’d better get in the van, NOW.  

I imagine that the sound of hell, if I were to believe for a moment here that it exists, is something akin to what I experienced on my way to the video store tonight.  The wailing and blubbering of the bitterly bereft.  The screams of the indignant.   The moaning, the sighing,  the occasional “I hate you” whispered under someone’s breath, and unbelievably, even the “if only papa were here”.

The only reason they weren’t sent to bed without dinner is that Neve has her “procedure” tomorrow, and I have to starve her from midnight until after her tube is removed, so I can’t very well be starving her tonight.  And actually, all the dramatics in the van seemed to wear them out pretty well, so all the discipline that was needed was some stern words.  But trust me, these kids will be sans goodies for quite awhile.  (Emiy even calmed down enough to kiss me good night).

Once Oona goes to sleep, I’ll be knitting my pent up crazy into a sock on teeny tiny needles.  I’m sure that’s what I’ll be doing when the men in white coats finally come to take me away.  It’s like a slogan for the overwrought parent.  “Knitting.  Because you can’t beat your children”