Category Archives: Kids

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Nitpickers Extraordinaire

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Thank you, yes, we’ve weathered head lice pretty well.  Seems Emily’s the only one in this house to have gotten it.  That didn’t stop it from spreading to Maddie, who managed to be even worse off.  As for the rest of us we get unimaginably itchy just thinking about it.

This week is spring break for the girls so I am enjoying sleeping in and staying up a little later at night without the worry of oversleeping and missing Emily’s bus.

I also managed to make 2 loaves of homemade white bread, a loaf of banana bread, and a batch of Chocolate Chunk Cherry and Pecan Oatmeal Cookies.  What else do you do with a cold and rainy spring weekend?  (You know, besides majorly clean your kids’ rooms and discover a certain 4 year old’s secret stash of stolen objects hidden in a deep dark corner of her closet, the walls of which she has decorated quite extensively with crayon, markers, stickers and your $8 tube of lip gloss)

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Dear Universe,

Ok.  Let’s get it all out in the open.  I watch My Name is Earl.  I know how karma works.  So tell me.  Really?  Have I been that bad?  You had to give my kid head lice?  Now?  With everything else you’re throwing at me you have to send me that as well?  Oh yeah and thanks for the mother of all migraines  you hit me with today.  That was a nice touch.

Incidentally……….now that the writers’ strike is over, when will My Name is Earl be back?????

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“A Big One”

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When my little Mac was just starting to make sentences and absorb the world around her she had her own interpretations of what we’d say that would crack me up.  Some I still use (“joe-mamas instead of pajamas, anyone?), some I’ve forgotten, some I only think of once in awhile.  For example, “a big one”.

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Whenever she saw a spider, she’d say, “A big one!  I saw a big one!”  It didn’t matter if it was huge or so teeny tiny as to be barely visible.  She didn’t know “spider”, she only knew “a big one”.  Probably because I only ever talked about them if they were big.  When Paul got home from work I didn’t bore him with the details of every spider I saw during the day because, quite frankly, we see so many around here that you think I’d be over my fear by now.  So spider conversations around here usually go something like Holy Mary Mother of God I saw A BIG ONE in the shower today!!!!!

Anyway, there is a point to this.  It seems that since we’re all too busy and stressed out around here to play pranks on each other the Universe did it for us a few times these last few days.  I speak of the photo above.  It ain’t real.  That’s a Halloween ring that had fallen under the buffet that we moved to make room for the chest freezer.  So that was Gotcha! number 1.  Hey, at quick glance out of the corner of your eye, tell me that wouldn’t freak you out while moving your dusty old furniture.

Then it got kicked almost under the fridge while I was vacuuming aforementioned  dusty spot and sat there until Neve screamed bloody murder on her way out to the garage.  Gotcha! number 2.  Then Maddie went to check out the source of the scream, and Gotcha! number 3.

So it’s hanging around, giving us all a mild start when it surfaces in various places around the house.  Neve and I have been calling it Steve.  As in, “Oh, it’s ok, it’s just Steve”.

But the weather’s getting warm.  Summer’s coming.  And  I fear that one of these days it won’t be Steve.

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Me, 3 Kids & The Dentist: A Study in Don’ts

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NO, this is NOT an April Fool’s Day put – on.  I drove an hour out to the dentist so Emily could have her tooth finished up.  I brought both the littler girls.  I am a glutton for punishment.

But I was totally prepared!  Crayons!  A coloring book!  A snack bar just in case!  A fully stocked diaper bag!

Yeah.  Oona and Emily both slept the whole way there.  We sat down in the waiting room and the baby woke up, but Emily grumpily shoved her face into the chair cushion, clothing wrinkled and askew, hair crazy, and began to whine “I’m tired”, along with other nonsense moaning and groaning half words every time I tried to speak to her.   Neve got to work coloring her lips purple with the washable markers.  And Oona kept reaching around me into the diaper bag and pulling things out, only to drop them on the floor.  5 minutes after arriving I needed a drink.  We were there for 2 hours.

Emily did fine for the dentist, aside from bitching quite loudly about how tired she was because her naughty little sister keeps sneaking into her room at night to keep her awake.

Oona fussed and fidgeted the whole time, not happy with any of the selection of toys I brought for her to chew on and generally made a mess of the diaper bag.

Neve performed an inspired “I’m hungry and I want to leave NOW” tantrum about an hour in, then kept running around with her hands between her legs yelling that she was going to pee herself (she used their restroom twice).  Then she tried to twirl in the exam room and when told to stop, she chanted “Shimmypoop” over and over, louder and louder until I took her back out to the waiting room.  No, I do not know what “Shimmypoop” means.  When we were finally leaving she dropped her bag of coloring implements and they scattered everywhere, and she threw herself down, exclaiming that she was NOT going to pick them up.

Despite all this – Emily needs to see a specialist.  We’ll have to go back for that.

Folks, don’t try this at home.

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Socks for Vincenzo

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I am cheating on the Emo Socks. I said I wouldn’t, but now that they’re going to Emily instead of Maddie I’ve lost some steam. So I’ve been working on cute little baby socks instead for a cute little man I know. They’re a Debbie Bliss pattern and they’re in my favorite “chocolate & blue” color combo.

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I also have realized I’ve been doing nothing but socks for awhile so I think I may cheat some more and work on the kitty pi bed.  And I still have many a sweater OTN……….. which leads me to another thought.  I haven’t gotten a lot done since the baby came.  She wants to be held (by me only, to boot) ALL the time.  She has some down time in her new Jumperoo, but I have to be less than 3 feet away at all times or it’s all over.

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Since she’s so very sweet and I love her so very much, this is ok.  However, I do think it is monumentally unfair that performing all childcare and household tasks with a baby in your arms doesn’t make you automatically skinny.   I mean, really.   Like this morning when it’s cold and raining and the do has to go out to pee but I can’t hold the baby, the leash AND an umbrella, so I tried to stand on the porch while the dog does her business, but she won’t leave the porch and o out in the rain unless I do (because she, like my children, is a princess.  See here for proof:

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SO she sat at the door and whined all morning, but wouldn’t go.  All because I don’t have 3 arms.  But, I’ll enjoy it anyway, because Oona’ll be grown all too soon and then I will miss these days and be tempted to have another (Talk me out of it, please!!!).

Meanwhile we had a very busy weekend.  Emily went to her brownie scout father daughter dance and had a blast.

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AND, I got a new toy:

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Yeah, baby.  A chest freezer! A new place to store my yarn!! (just kidding.  But seriously, I know the Yarn Harlot does it….)

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Update – O – Rama

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Well, Easter has now come and gone…… quite early this year, n’est – ce pas?  Last week I took my advice and stocked up on craft supplies and kept the girls busily creating fun little things in the days leading up to the holiday.  We made sheep, we made paper bead necklaces, we made little birdies.  They also made lots of pretty pictures, and painted their eggs in gold-flaked colors.  All in all, It’s been quite a successful enterprise.

The fruits of our labor:

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Then Saturday came and I felt like roadkill.  The girls went to an egg hunt (Neve predictably ate pavement as soon as they got there) and I stayed on the couch letting my brain go to mush with a steady supply of Spongebob.

Sunday we ate yummy food with the ‘rents (and drank wine with our good friend Uncle Daddy) and I discovered that the Maddie Emo Socks won’t fit because Maddie’s feet are now bigger than mine.  Sheesh.  Well, good thing I enjoy knitting socks, right?   Maddie came home with us that night (and stayed up watching George Lopez on Nick At Nite with me) and then helped out with my “Day of Hell” Monday.

Actually, it wasn’t that bad.  Could have been worse.  We could have had Neve with us (she stayed home with Paul, who was miraculously in town).  We made the trek out to the dentist (an hour away) and waited through an initial exam and x-rays of Emily’s tooth (2 hours in a tiny uncomfortable room, and we had the baby with us).  We were famished by the time they said they could do a root canal for her at 2 pm.  So we high – tailed it to the nearest drive-thru and gorged ourselves on fatty, greasy nastiness that makes me vomit in my mouth a little thinking about now.  And then we went to Target to kill an hour and a half (and more cash than I had intended to part with that day…).

The root canal went well, though poor Maddie had a few moments in the waiting room with the baby where Oona decided she was over it and cried her little lungs out until Maddie found my cell phone and let her shove it in her mouth.  The day ended with us getting home around 6 pm (after leaving at like 8:30 in the morning) and it was a day where much was accomplished, but I was worn out!

Yesterday we took a 4 mile walk with some good friends and vented lots of stress.  A Walk – N – Bitch if you will.  ANd today we went to the Chidlren’s Museum and had lunch at the park.  I’ve kept the kids pretty busy, I’d say.  And let me tell you – I am exhausted.  I think a lot of it is that I am still getting over the Ick that struck me down so rudely this past weekend, but either way I am going to be laying around the house in my sweats the next few days and trying to knit.  And looking for any and all non mess-free markers to throw away.  Why, you ask?  As if you really need to!

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She looked like  Marilyn Manson with the black lips and eyes (and was starting on the arm tattoos when I looked over and caught her.  She managed this while sitting on the couch right next to me).  When she realized she was busted she wouldn’t let us look at her.  Needless to say, taking a picture was quite difficult.  But, we managed.  How else am I going to embarrass her on the world wide web?????

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Happy Vernal Equinox

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It seems I’ve been gifted with the Ick on this first day of spring (Thank you, rotten kids).  I’ve got the achiness all over, the sore throat, the congestion, the headache, the cough.  Otherwise you know I’d be out dancing naked under the moon to celebrate the equinox and all.  Y’all know I’m like that.

Ha!  Just wondering if you were paying attention.  And yes, I did just say y’all.  Yankee or not, I find it really enhances your language to throw in a good y’all  every so often.

So I feel like crud and I plan to rest up for the festivities this weekend (egg hunt party Saturday with the ‘rents, sugared up kids Sunday once the Bunny has come).  But I did do one thin today.  One brave, crazy, not-quite-perfect thing.

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I cut Neve’s hair.  Couldn’t stand it anymore.  She was cool with it, so I grabbed the scissors, took a deep breath, and chopped it.  It’ll need some touching up to even it out a bit, but I think she looks cute with it like this.  She’s got that wavy kind of hair that works well with a bob.  It also makes it hard to cut it evenly.  Plus, you know, I suck at it.

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One Down, One To Go

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The first Maddie Emo Sock is done.  Yay!  I’ve cast on for the second so I don’t lose focus.  Too much.  It’s a little snug on my foot, since Mad’s foot is slightly smaller than mine.  Or, at least it was when I started these socks!  When these are done I am going to knit up a bunch of baby socks.  Small, easy, quick baby socks.  My problem now is that whereas some people have S.A.B.L.E. ( yarn Stash Amassed Beyond Life Expectancy) I have Projects Lined Up Beyond Life Expectancy.  (PLUBLE? sounds vaguely dirty).  

I just can’t seem to get on top of things lately.  I’m sure most parents know what I am talking about.  And I have those moments where you wonder if you will ever get on top of things.  And the possibility that you will is so small that you consider whether it’s even a worthwhile goal.  This week has been especially trying.  Emily has a bad tooth that needs looking after and while we wait for the dentist to see her (even with an emergency, it’s still a several day wait….how’s that for a real downer??) she’s been in and out of school as we try to manage her pain level.   The baby has a cold so she’s been smearing nice green ickiness all over me and running a small fever.  She kept me up all night on Monday, thus ensuring that my ability to deal with Emily’s problem is massively reduced.

But it’s O.K.  I’ve been plying Little Mac with mess free markers and paint brushes and a pile of construction paper……and it’s working.  As long as she’s got a project to work on she’s perfectly well behaved.   I’m thinking I’ll dive into my craft stash and see what else I’ve got to keep her occupied.  Maybe I’ll invest in a big bag of colored pipe cleaners and wooden beads.  And tissue paper!  My hamster’s running pretty quickly now!  I think I may be on the verge of a child controlling breakthrough!

-Insert evil little smile here-

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Another Night, Another Visit to the E.R.

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I swear it’s a concerted effort on the part of my children to use up all my money.  I wonder if our doctor has considered any renovations or upgrades, because clearly my kids would like to pay for them.

Neve accidentally slammed Emily’s finger in the shower door last night.  It was bloody, the nail came clean off, and according to the lovely folks at the ER, the bone is fractured.  Now I know both girls claimed it was accidental, but she must’ve really slammed it.

At this rate I’m thinking I may consider keeping them padded with bubble wrap at all times.