NO, this is NOT an April Fool’s Day put – on. I drove an hour out to the dentist so Emily could have her tooth finished up. I brought both the littler girls. I am a glutton for punishment.
But I was totally prepared! Crayons! A coloring book! A snack bar just in case! A fully stocked diaper bag!
Yeah. Oona and Emily both slept the whole way there. We sat down in the waiting room and the baby woke up, but Emily grumpily shoved her face into the chair cushion, clothing wrinkled and askew, hair crazy, and began to whine “I’m tired”, along with other nonsense moaning and groaning half words every time I tried to speak to her. Neve got to work coloring her lips purple with the washable markers. And Oona kept reaching around me into the diaper bag and pulling things out, only to drop them on the floor. 5 minutes after arriving I needed a drink. We were there for 2 hours.
Emily did fine for the dentist, aside from bitching quite loudly about how tired she was because her naughty little sister keeps sneaking into her room at night to keep her awake.
Oona fussed and fidgeted the whole time, not happy with any of the selection of toys I brought for her to chew on and generally made a mess of the diaper bag.
Neve performed an inspired “I’m hungry and I want to leave NOW” tantrum about an hour in, then kept running around with her hands between her legs yelling that she was going to pee herself (she used their restroom twice). Then she tried to twirl in the exam room and when told to stop, she chanted “Shimmypoop” over and over, louder and louder until I took her back out to the waiting room. No, I do not know what “Shimmypoop” means. When we were finally leaving she dropped her bag of coloring implements and they scattered everywhere, and she threw herself down, exclaiming that she was NOT going to pick them up.
Despite all this – Emily needs to see a specialist. We’ll have to go back for that.
Folks, don’t try this at home.