Dog Eats “Something Big & Icky”; Child, 4, Denies Involvement

An Undated Image of the Offender

Pippa the Dog, a 2 year old golden retriever / Llewellyn setter mix is awaiting treatment after consuming what appears to be a stuffed animal.  Three underage witnesses described the object as “vaguely sock – like”,  “chunky barf with a flower mixed in”, and “gross”.  The offender apparently ate the as yet unidentified object in secrecy at some point in the last few days and regurgitated the item under the dining room table.  Before authorities arrived on the scene the object was re-consumed.  Pippa was taken to a local vet where she was monitored overnight for signs of bowel obstruction.  No word yet on whether she will “pass” the blockage or require surgery.

Meanwhile a 4 year old is under heavy suspicion of providing the contraband.  She responded “I didn’t do it” during questioning, but may still be liable under the highly controversial “Mama’s Law”, which states that leaving one’s possessions in areas in which they do not belong is tantamount to negligence.  Those charged under “Mama’s Law” may incur time-outs, early bedtimes and loss of various privileges.   The author of “Mama’s Law” maintains its justness, explaining “I’m the one that’s going to have to collect and pick through the dog’s sh*t until this thing’s out.  Would the kids rather do that?”

The children had no comment.

Please stay tuned for updates to this breaking story.

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